Couple’s therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, but many are embarrassed to ask about what actually goes down in that office. Here’s what to expect before you embark on the journey.
People do get angry with counselors at time, since couples therapy can be an emotional and difficult time for anyone involved. It can escalate in some occasions, but there are definitely awkward and tense moments.
There’s no “right” age to go to couples therapy. While it can be pricey and is sometimes viewed as a luxury, mental health is in fact a serious priority, and counseling for a range of budgets (and ages) exists.
It can take months or years to work out an issue. Every relationship differs, and there is no set cure for a block within one. Starting earlier rather than later is the motto we believe in, but don’t expect a quick fix and a couple of sessions.
A good therapist will act impartial, and won’t take sides or place the blame on anyone. It’s their job to sort that out and provide an objective sort of view without any judgement. They’re meant to teach you communication skills, not add gasoline to the fire.
You don’t necessarily have to have every session with your partner. While there need to be a few communicative session, people who have intimacy and vulnerability struggles can find that confiding in the therapist alone at times is helpful.
You can’t get the therapist to call your partner and convince them to go to therapy. Individual issues can help ease this, but if you can’t ask or your partner is unwilling to go to therapy, then it’s time to think about their investment in the relationship.
There are LGBTQ+ specific counsellors, but an educated and well-trained professionals will have knowledge on how to deal with all types of relationship structures including polyamory, checking websites is a great way to tell, but relationships aren’t necessarily different because of gender or sexuality.
There’s no way to tell if couples therapy will work in the face of an affair – every couple is different, and monogram is difficult. Affairs happen for a range of reasons, and while therapists can help realize the root, rebuilding trust takes time.
Your counselor will help remind the two of you why you’re together, or why you maybe shouldn’t be, as well as embracing you’re differentness. They can clarify the root of the issue, but they won’t be there for the following years at every minute – you need to do that work as well.
They might not believe in the old adage “never go to bed angry”. Everyone needs space sometimes, and cooling down for seven or eight hours might help you revisit the issue more positively, and in a more productive way. Waking up in a better place will lead to a better conversation than speaking in the heat of the moment.
