Anxietyis a pretty big romance killer, but it’s a reality that many haveto live with on a day to day basis. Being in a relationship withsomeone who suffers from anxiety isn’t always the easiest, andthere might be one rough moments, but here are some key ways to copewith it in a controlled but compassionate manner.
1.Take the time to research and learn about anxiety so you canunderstand unusual or seemingly erratic behavior and learn toidentify when your partner might be having an anxiety attack.
2.Learn to ask them about their triggers and identity or work aroundthem or at least compromise. Do you love fairs and amusement parksbut bae has social anxiety? Maybe bring your BFF instead and bringyour sweetie home a souvenir.
3.Learn the most effective breathing exercises for people with anxietyand lead your partner in it when you can tell they’re about to havea meltdown. It’s hard for them to control, but if you learn tonotice it in advance, you might be able to nip it in the bud.
4. Be strong when they are weak. If you panic, they’ll be able to sense it and till just make the situation worse. Try to enact patience instead of anger, otherwise it will be a long and grueling journey.
5.Don’tassume it’s about you! If you take their anxiety personally, itwill lead to fights about something that is just about them. Even ifyou feel rejected, it doesn’t have to do with you, and rather thanmaking a false assumption, it’s better to just ask, or even better– listen.
6.Don’ttell them to calm down. This is something extremely frustrating forpeople with anxiety to hear – they don’t experience stress theway normal people do, so to hear that when you’re experiencingsomething very hard to control can make it even worse.
7.Instead, keep your cool and stay calm when your partner is goingthrough an anxiety attack. This will create an anchored feeling ofZen for them to gravitate back towards when they’re going through atough moment.
8. They might have a social limit that can’t be exceeded. If you’re at a party and it’s been more than a couple of hours and you see your partner starting to get shifty, they might have had enough of the social gathering for that night.
9.Don’ttry to be their whole support system – you’re not theirtherapist, and you don’t need to be. You can be supportive, butthey need to manage their daily anxiety, whether that means throughdifferent coping mechanisms, finding an actual therapist, or going onappropriate medication. You can’t “fix”someone and it puts unfair burden on a relationship.
10. Sometimes, asking “are you ok?” can make it worse. Instead, try to act as comforting as possible, reassuring them and letting them know that you believe in them instead of being too much of a worry-wort.
11.Don’ttry to talk them down in a rational way – they’re very aware thatthey’re not being rational, and bringing up logic in an emotionalsituation won’t do anything to neutralize tension and bring peace.Make sure you don’t downplay it or make them feel as though they’rebeing dramatic.
12. They might have moments where they obsess and nitpick about every aspect of the relationship, so strength and emotional support plays an important role in dating someone with anxiety. Don’t give them yet another reason to freak out!
