Long gone are the times when girls were growing up dreaming about marrying Prince Charming and not having to worry about anything for the rest of their lives. Men are no longer hunting for a perfect housewife and a mother to his ten kids. Okay, some are, but the general trend is all about building a happy, balanced relationship with your loved one. And yet, we are still influenced by dozens of misconceptions as to what a happy relationship should look and feel like. Books, romcoms, and TV shows are also not helping to build an adequate idea of what a marriage is all about. Now you can find more constructive ideas on social media as people are sharing their own non-fictional experience and the things that worked for them. So, here are 7 myths about marriage you should forget about if you want to be happy with your significant other.
Myth #1: Marriage will fix everything
Nope, dear ladies and gents, marriage is not the ultimate remedy foryour soul’s pain, depression, and feeling of loneliness. If you hadany of those before getting into a relationship and tying the knot,rest assured they’ll come up again sooner rather than later. Yourhappiness or unhappiness never, and I repeat never-ever depends onthe outside factors, be it husband, money, or a pretty home with awhite fence. Many people have all that and they are still miserable!Find the root of what made you unhappy in the first place, use atherapist if you need to, and turn into that happy person that willbecome even more radiant in a relationship with a loved one.
Myth #2: He should be your best friend
Now this is just a delusion that some people spread as a first gradetruth. All relationships are different. You husband/wife may be thatsort of person you can tell anything at all, but it depends solely onthe way you two roll. Some couple are more romantic, others tend tocreate a bit of drama, and there is no rule saying you have to run toyour hubby with every little problem you face. That’s what bestfriends are for! They do exist for a reason, you know. Chatting withyour girlfriend about that lousy day at work over a cup of coffee isjust as important!
Myth #3: It should be easy like a fairy tale
Well, here’s the truth – once you tie the knot, the realhardships begin! New challenges will present themselves and you’llhave to deal with them one way or another. Relationships requirework, even the happiest ones. Thinking that marriage is an effortlessordeal will only get you and your hubby into trouble. Make sure youunderstand the responsibility and enjoy the ride!
Myth #4: You’ll never fight
Au contraire, my dear friends, fighting is an essential part of marriage or any relationship for that matter. Happy couples in healthy relationships do that to resolve issues, share opinions, and find out what’s really important to them. If you avoid getting into a fight, suppress your feelings, or naively think that your spouse has no complaints whatsoever, your relationship will end up a disaster. The blast will happen sooner or later! The most important thing is to find common ground and reach some consensus that will please both sides. Then your relationship will evolve.
Myth #5: You have to do everything together, share every experience
Now this one is dangerous because in the early stages of therelationship (or marriage) there is a time when you simply want to betogether 24/7, sharing not only your free time, but also hobbies andmeetings with friends. Living like that might be fun for a while, butthen one of you will need a break and that’s completely normal.Having time for yourself, spending evenings with your friends or afavourite book – all those things are essential for your happiness.Marriage doesn’t make you joined at the hip, on the contrary, eachof you remains an individual with his own needs, dreams, andinterests.
Myth #6: Compromising all the time will result in a happy marriage
While little compromises here and there made byboth sides strengthen the relationship, compromising all the time isthe worst thing you can do for a marriage. If you neglect yourpersonal boundaries and hide your pain and stress from your partner,you will gradually become so unhappy that it will be impossible tomaintain the relationship. Openness and respect towards each other’sboundaries is essential to building a happy marriage. You have tospeak out every time you feel uncomfortable, discuss possiblesolutions with your spouse, and do the same for him when he’shaving some issues. Be patient with each other and always tell thetruth.
Myth #7: Stress will kill your marriage
There are different kinds of stress and not all of them are dangerous for marriage. Sometimes stress releases a creative potential that otherwise wouldn’t be available (like a decision to quit job and do what you love the most). A decision to change the city or country can also be stressful, as well as the process of deciding whether to have kids or not. Avoiding stressful situations will not save you from them, so it’s better to be prepared and use them to their fullest potential. That being said, long-term stressful conditions should be dealt with as they will influence both your physical and psychological health.