Perfect couples don’t exist and it’s something we should all be aware of. No matter how happy and put together people might look when they’re out and about believe me they have some issues too. The key is to notice these issues, address them, and keep working on them. If both of you put in the effort and try your best to make it work – the happier you’ll be and the better your relationship will be. Just to start you off on your journey of bettering your relationship here’s a list of most common relationship problems and how you can fix them.
1. Communication
This is the most common problem and arguably the most important thing in a relationship. Think about it, if your communication sucks – everything else will suck too. The most common reasons for bad communication are usually very easily solved. You need to set some rules in place. For example, you can’t truly communicate over a movie or while you’re scrolling on your phone. You need to set aside some time and spend it talking out whatever you’re having issues with. If you’ve already moved in together – just turn off your TV, put your cellphones in airplane mode and spend some time talking. If you live apart, set a specific date where instead of going out for a dinner or a movie you go for a walk in the park and talk. Public places are also good in case every serious conversations turns into a loud fight, this way you’ll be too embarrassed to raise your voice and therefore talk it out calmly.
2. Parents
Having a good relationship with your partner’s parents is a good idea, but keep in mind that it’s not exactly a must. We’re not saying you can just ignore them from the beginning, but if you’ve tried your best to get along with them and they’re just rude and hostile towards you – you don’t have to put up with that. But don’t dismiss this issue, tell your partner about how you feel or how their parents make you feel and explain why you wish to spend less time with them or why you don’t feel like attending their family dinner. We’re sure your partner will understand and maybe in turn have a talk with his parents to try and resolve this issue.
3. Sex
It never seems a problem at the beginning, when it’s new and exciting. But with time, some couples find that they’re not having it often enough, or it happens way less regularly. The issue here might be that your needs are different. One of you might have a higher libido and the other one lower. It’s normal and you can definitely work with this as long as you communicate your needs to each other. A good way to get that spark back is to try something new and different, make suggestions about your fantasies to each other, who knows, maybe quite a few of them overlap, of you’ll find out something you’ll be interested in trying.
4. Time
Depending on your level of business, your career, your hobbies and living arrangement you might feel like you spend a lot of your time apart or, on the contrary, you do everything together and it’s getting a bit annoying. If you live together and both of you are freelancers you might run into the issue of spending too much time together – yes, it’s an issue. We all need some alone time, so get some hobbies that will get you out of the house and doing your things separately. It’s good for the soul. If you think you’re spending too much time apart – you gotta plan ahead. Make appointments with each other, literally go through your calendar and see when can you find time to see each other more often. Relationships take work and effort, things don’t really just click into place like they do in movies.
5. Money
Money is considered to be a very awkward subject that’s not discussed in polite company, but that’s a ridiculous taboo that shouldn’t exist in your relationship. If you live together you should talk about money openly. You have joined spendings like bills and rent, you go out on dates, you have subscriptions – all of these things should be managed and talked about. Set a time, for example on every first Sunday of the month, and plan out your spendings, set a budget. Your money should be joined, but you can definitely set aside some for individual spendings. If one of you is better at saving money, and the other has more of a “treat yourself” mentality – you can talk it out and learn from each other.
6. House chores
Most of us have jobs to go to during the week, and the idea of spending your days off cleaning isn’t exactly appealing. But house need to get done, and a lot of the time that responsibility falls onto the more meticulous and neat partner. If one of you is more of a clean freak and the other is a messy person who doesn’t care if you haven’t vacuumed in 3 weeks, sooner or later you’re going to have a fight about it. You need to make a list of house chores and divide them up between you. You can definitely choose the chores you like, for example if you’d rather vacuum, while the other person doesn’t mind washing the dishes – great, but divide fairly, so no one feels like they’re doing more. Another good option, if you can afford it, is just hiring a cleaning service regularly.
7. Trust
Trust is a very important element of a relationship. It’s easy to lose and can be very hard to gain back. So is you’re having issues with that you have to find the root of it and talk about it with your partner. Also, actually being honest and doing things you say you will, and supporting your partner when they need it can do a lot in terms of gaining trust. Little things like sticking to the plan you both made, letting them know beforehand if there’s a change in plans that you just can’t avoid, calling to say you’re going to be late home because of work are also very important to making your partner feel secure in the relationship. Don’t be distant and cold, don’t give them reasons to worry.
8. The Future
At some point the talk about the future has to happen, it’s just a fact. Some people choose to have it right away, others think it’s too heavy a topic at first and only get to it a couple of years into a relationship. Either way, it’s an important conversation to have just to figure out what your goals are in life, how do you both see your life going, what are your plans in terms of career. Maybe one of you wants to move to another city or country, while the other wants to stay put and start a business. Do you want kids? When and how many. You need to know the answers to all of these questions to feel secure about the future of your relationship.
