No one really even knows how to navigate being an adult, so navigating the waters of a relationship can be even murkier. While a dramatic relationship might get the passion going, it’s not the mature or healthy trajectory that you want your love life heading down. Here are some signs that your partner has never been in an emotionally mature relationship.
1. They are often angry or lashing out as a means of communication. They often turn sadness into anger, or even worse go into shutdown robot mode. Inability to process emotions is not a sign of maturity.
2. They’ve never had a long term relationship. It’s either a string of one night stands or short term ones that just lasted a few months. It might be alluring for you to “change them”, but it’s a pitfall that won’t end up working, sister!
3. Fighting is how they communicate. They don’t know how to communicate in a healthy manner. They have a hard time seeing things outside of their own perspective and compromising. Bae just doesn’t know how to meet in the middle, and that’s a red flag.
4. You don’t know where you stand with them and they don’t let you know. In other words, they don’t set clear intentions.
5. They feel uncomfortable when you get emotional, which means that they’re not emotionally available or compassionate. Both indicate past relationships that have had a very immature nature.
6. They are often indecisive about the big stuff, such as who they are and what they want in life. Although none of us are really sure of these things, being unable to decide and choose you is sort of a Peter Pan situation that you shouldn’t have sympathy for.
7. Actions don’t align with words. They’ll say that they love you and you’re a priority, but they’re always flaking and giving excuses as to why they can’t meet your expectations.
8. They play games in the relationship instead of being straightforward. This is a manipulative tactic used to gain control and the upper hand in relationship without commitment. It happens due to insecurity.
9. They don’t have any self-awareness. This ties into some of our points about compassion and compromise. If they’re always talking over you or can’t see how their actions impact other people, they can’t properly relate to you, which is fundamental in a mature relationship.
10. They have an idealized image or idea of you in their mind which doesn’t match up with reality – they have grandiose expectations and adore the idea of you, but not all the flaws, nooks and crannies that come with reality.
11. They downplays your relationship on public. This means that he hasn’t and isn’t planning on settling down or committing to labels anytime soon.