Love is a fickle friend. After you’ve been together for a while, it’s easy to drift apart. Work gets busy, and the spark isn’t as strong as it was when you first met and couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Or maybe your relationship isn’t struggling to stay afloat, but it’s only alright. You deserve to bring it back from alright to amazing, and these are some tips that can help rejuvenate your love.
1. Vocalize Saying “I Love You” And Compliment Each Other
After you’re in a long term relationship can be easy to let the romance fizzle, after the initial honeymoon phase subsides, but saying I love you and complimenting each other more will help maintain the attraction, and a positive, open energy between the two of you. Expressing love and affection is a huge part of staying close to your partner.
2. Focus On Quality Time Over Quantity
Hanging with each other all the time can get a little claustrophobic and cause you to appreciate your significant other a little less. The quality of the time, like an intimate dinner rather than mindlessly watching TV together makes a big difference. Engaging in each other to maintain the deep connection rather than only using distractions to bond is vital.
3. Spend More Time Apart
This might be surprising, but independence within a relationship can actually makes you stronger. It helps keep away jealousy, and helps you avoid unhealthy codependence. The creation of boundaries and space will make your relationship longer lasting, and more exciting.
4. With Arguments, Choose Your Battles
Fighting is normal but choosing your battles in the war is also important. Your love for your partner is more important than your own ego over petty things. If it’s about the dishes, or something silly, and will cause a blow up and emotional damage over nothing let it go.
5. Try New Things In The Bedroom
Spicing it up in the bedroom will help you understand what first drew you to each other, and make you closer in other arenas as well. Keeping it exciting in the bedroom will restrengthen your bond more than just once a month mandatory missionary session. Also, sex naturally elevates your mood, so more sex makes for a happier couple!
6. Be Open To Learning From Each Other.
This is key to evolving as a couple. Your partner is a reflection of how you can be a better person. When you’re upset, instead of placing name and pointing fingers, be aware of your own flaws and what you have yet to heal in yourself rather than just projecting those feelings externally instead of being introspective.
7. Don’t Ask Them “How Was Your Day?” When They Come Home
This might seem counter-intuitive – why wouldn’t you ask your partner how their day was? Because if you ask it like that, you’ll probably get an equally boring answer, with no truth. Instead of asking a question that will provoke a “Fine, and yours?”, ask what made them smile, or what a tough part of their day was. It will give you greater insight, and connect you more.
8. Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations
Creating unrealistic expectations around things like romance, and not spending every minute together, is toxic and will create an emptiness in yourself, as well as warping your understanding that your man isn’t just your Prince Charming, he’s a human being just like you. Life isn’t “The Notebook” or “The Titanic”.
9. Schedule Date Nights
Try to go on dates together as a couple like you did before things got serious. This will get you out of the house and having fun. Make a list of the things you did in the first year of your relationship, and try to get back to that exciting phase of your relationship that gave you butterflies.
10. Communicate – There’s No Such Thing As Over-Communication
Talk about the bad instead of being passive aggressive or sweeping things under the rug number one key to moving forward and growing is the ability to truly talk about your feelings being able to get past the point of making confrontation awkward will make your relationships so much stronger, and make you closer.
11. Keep Looking Sexy
Even after twenty years in a relationship, the difference that taking pride in your appearance and still looking cute for your hubby makes is a pretty big one. Partners that take care of themselves physically prove that they care about themselves, and looking good for their lover. So don’t toss away that razor, red lipstick, or little black dress just yet! Surprise him with it and it will add longevity to your relationship, and keep them attracted to you.