You never want to think you don’t have luck in love, but being single is actually pretty awesome. This is your time to explore who you are, and invest time and energy in doing things you like. Learn a new skill, travel, and get in touch with who you really are as a person.
If you feel bummed out that your friends have a man and you don’t, you may act out of desperation, end up with the wrong person, and regret it later on.
That being said, you still might want to look at where you could be going wrong when it comes to finding a potential bae.
You are an attention seeker. A man will not like if you are clingy, needy or want constant attention. He will sense pretty quickly that you are lonely, or have an emotional void in your life that you are trying to fill. This will chase him away. He wants to be somebody who has earned you and feels chosen by you. He shouldn’t have to feel he is a filler in your life. Neediness stems from a lack of self-worth and feeling that you are not good enough. For this reason, it’s best to really know yourself – then, men won’t be able to resist you.
Being too picky. While it is great to focus on physical traits, occupation, personality, and how much money he makes, good skin and a toned body won’t get you through your marriage and isn’t the secret to a happy relationship. Having a mindset of “all or nothing” is a fantasy, so it is important to jot down what you dealbreakers can’t bend on, versus things you are are willing to be flexible about.
Making the same mistake. If a guy has breached your trust in the past and toyed with your heart, another might do the same thing with smooth talking and give you validation when it is just a trap. Soon enough, you will realize how much you’re wasting time and energy, bending over backwards to show him how much you care with no payoff or return. It is time to break that cycle and ask yourself: why does this happen? Guys may have charisma and a great sense of humor but do they also take a little too much interest in your life only to manipulate you and get the best out of you? This can leave you feeling hurt and damaged. These men have problems of their own that they haven’t dealt with, and are using you for validation and as an escape as maybe they have also been rejected or hurt in the past.
Attracting love. You need to make sure you are not giving off any wrong signals. In order to bring love in your life you need to make sure you are available for the other person. There needs to be receptivity. Having a work schedule and a routine is fine, but you need to make sure you are in the right place emotionally. A great exercise is to wake up every morning and ask yourself, “what makes me marketable? Would I want to date me today? Or what are things that work like a magnet for the guy and most importantly, what do I have that the person would feel is lovable?” The exercise will guide you towards both your possible assets, as well as flaws. Keep in mind that nobody wants somebody who is selfish, inconsistent, or emotionally messy with sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies.
Dwelling on your ex. We have all been through hurt and pain after a break up, but it is important not to bring that into your present situation. If you are looking for the wow factor in a guy but still thinking about your ex, that will not go anywhere. You will not only miss out on the opportunity to meet somebody great, but will do damage by carrying toxic waste around. Yes, the scarring and wounds can take a lot of time to heal, but it is important to realize it is an active process and one that you need to work on constantly to avoid trapping yourself in that vicious cycle again
Negative thinking. Stop thinking that you are going to be forever alone. Negative thinking does no good for the present or the future. If you keep thinking about why your past relationships didn’t work out, the answer is simple: they didn’t deserve you. If they didn’t appreciate your kind heart and the miracle you were when they had it, they are now full of regrets and guilt tripping. Don’t let the little negative voice in the back of your head constantly attack you and be your own worst enemy. Stop beating yourself up and know that there will be somebody who will come into your life at the right place and the right time.
Dating Apps: Dating has changed a lot over time and the online world is a big part of that. Most people get on Tinder, Bumble, or Plenty of Fish. Swipe right/Swipe left may make you feel like a million dollar gal, but it may take away from actual investment of a relationship such as the building of trust, complemented by warmth and generosity. Time is a precious commodity, so use it wisely when it comes to love and spread the word among your friends, colleagues, relatives etc. of what you are looking for and what your values are. This way, you don’t have to kiss too many frogs before you get to your prince.
FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM: A relationship will not complete you – it will only add to you. Remember that being single won’t kill you. It is absolutely crucial you understand that and don’t settle for less than you deserve. The first person on the planet who deserves your love and energy in every way is you. Never ever stop loving yourself through the process of nurturing and growth.
