Boundariesare a healthy and necessary aspect to every relationship. They helpkeep friendships and romantic relationships intact, providing a senseof balance to the dynamic.
1.You find yourself justifying the bad behavior of others. If you aremaking excuses for why people are treating you badly, you’re notsetting the right boundaries in your relationships.
2.You blame yourself when things go wrong, yet it’s not your fault.Being held accountable for your actions is one thing, but if you findyourself doing this when someone else is treating you badly, it’s asign of weak boundaries.
3.Your decisions are disregarded often. Don’t give away your power ofchoice – if someone tries to dominate you or crosses a line, it’simportant to speak up without being dramatic and effectively learnhow to say no.
4.You experience the feeling of shame. If you’re starting to feelshame for other reason, it could be that someone is gaslighting youand crossing boundaries. If someone is coercing you into feelingguilty but you don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong, it couldbe due to a misstep of boundaries.
5.Many of your relationships end up being dramatic or difficult. Whenyou lack boundaries, you open yourself up to relationships witрpeople who want to control you, leading to a cycle of codependentrelationships with an uneven power balance.
6.It’s extremely hard for you to make a decision. When you don’thave the right boundaries, you start giving in to what other peoplewant to do instead of taking control of your sense of individuality.Now, when you’re faced with decisions, you panic or blank.
7. Often, you don’t feel respected. Boundaries are a guide to respecting and treating others with dignity. Without setting them, people have no guidelines for how to treat you, and this often results in a lack of respect.
8. You’re been called a people pleaser more than once in your life. This might mean that you don’t like saying no, or you hate letting people down. However, this leads to you saying yes to things you don’t actually want – please yourself, for once!
9.A fear of abandonment is very real for non-boundary setters. Yourdon’t value yourself enough, and fear that others might not valueyou either. You think that not having boundaries will make otherslove you less, but instead, it can lead to the opposite.
10.You feel tired all the time. This is due to being emotionallyexhausted and drained from a lack of self-care. You cram your lifeinto the in-between moments when you’re not doing something forsomeone else. Ignoring or not identifying your dreams cause bothdepression and fatigue.
11.You often feel that you’re put in a victim situation. You’veprobably felt taken advantage of, and until you see yourself as asurvivor, this might keep happening. If you feel overwhelmed in lifeit’s easy to fall into the feeling that you’re being victimized.
12.Your sense of identity and who you really are feels shaky at times.You’re not used to doing what you want, and base your opinions onthe validation of others as opposed to your own free thought. Settingshort term goals can help you clarify your purpose, but take the timeto learn about yourself and figure out what you want.
13.You suffer from low self-esteem. Maybe it comes in lapses or maybeit’s a constant, but when you feel depressed and are suffering,it’s a lot easier for people to take advantage of you. Payingattention to your state to your mind when you’re not feeling yourbest is important, for this reason.
14.People in your life often show up late or visit without invitation.If you show up on time and they consistently are tardy, even thoughyou took precious time out of your schedule to spend time with them.Same goes for shopping up unannounced and assuming you’ll be ableto free up just for them.
15. The people around you frequently talk about themselves – it’s all about them, and there’s no room for you in this storyline. This is a sign that you surround yourself with people who don’t respect boundaries of you.
